This is all for you.
Getting fitter,
Losing weight,
It is all for you!
So often we feel the pull to do something because of how someone else feels. They want you to lose weight, they want you to look like you did in your twenties… they want. And this invariably results in three possible things.
- Stubborn resolve (to not change)
- Guilt response (Which can create yo-yos)
- Action (You may take action over someone else’s desires but is it sustained)
Ultimately the people who have the greatest change and results do so because they decide to do it for themselves. Sure, doing it for your family or others can be useful. For example, getting fit and healthy for your kids, and it is okay to want to look better for your partner. But giving yourself permission to do it for yourself is the real game changer. Doing it for yourself though can trigger many things for you. Even though everyone else benefits when you get healthier the idea that you are allowed to do something solely for you can cause feelings of guilt. You may question whether you deserve better than you currently have. These feelings can lead to self-sabotage.
You may also fall into the stubborn category, particularly when a partner suggests you get healthier or lose weight. You may consider it harsh judgement. Perhaps their comment, while well-intentioned results in feelings of anger. Why can’t they accept you the way you are? Why do they want you to change? This may bring up a fear of abandonment. All this because they quite likely would just like to see you healthier. You, yourself are attaching emotions and judgements where they may not exist.
When you free yourself of the considerations of others (however well-intentioned), then you can put the possibility of these emotions to the side.
How do you do this?
You give permission to yourself to make the change for yourself. The benefits that extend to others are just that – additional benefits, that do not need to attract emotions negative nor positive.
You are the primary concern and you deserve to better your health, so do it for you. Don’t label it as selfish, do not allow guilt at looking after your needs to be part of your narrative.
You win, and by default so do those close to you.
